The Really Secret Garden
by Majin Vegeta
Summary: Is there supposed to be a plot? ^_^ One day Lina, Amelia, Gourry, Zelgadis, and Xelloss were wandering along a path in the forest, and... well, do you really think this is supposed to make sense?


The Really Secret Garden  
By: Majin Vegeta  
Beta'd by: Mia Skywalker  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Slayers or it's cool characters, if I did I wouldn't have to type this disclaimer. And this won't even have self-insertion in it! Watch for Fibrizo in here!!!!! ::Drum roll:: And now let the fic begin!  
  
**********  
  
One day Lina, Amelia, Gourry, Zelgadis, and Xelloss were wandering along a path in the forest. All of a sudden Gourry, of all people, found a sign.  
  
Gourry: Hey look guys, a sign! ::Points to the sign::  
  
Amelia: Isn't it kind of weird for a sign to be in a forest Mr. Gourry?  
  
Gourry: I don't know.  
  
Lina: Of course it is!!!!!   
  
Zelgadis: ::Walks over to the sign and reads it:: It says, "You are now in a forest."  
  
::Everyone sweatdrops::  
  
Lina: Who would write a sign like that?!?!?!?! ::Looks around and spots Xelloss:: It was you wasn't it?  
  
Xelloss: Wasn't me. ^_^ ::Hides a marker behind his back::  
  
Lina: But I caught you with a marker.  
  
Xelloss: Wasn't me ^_^ ::Hides a piece of wood behind his back as well::  
  
Lina: But I caught you with a piece of wood.  
  
Xelloss: Wasn't me. ^_^  
  
Lina: YEAH RIGHT! Fireball! ::Fireballs Xelloss::  
  
Xelloss: ::Is burnt to a crisp and teleports behind Lina:: My my, so violent Lina. ::Waves finger around:: My my my.  
  
Lina: SHUT UP!!!!!  
  
Zelgadis: Well that was stupid.  
  
Amelia: Mr. Zelgadis you're so mean.  
  
Zelgadis: Well it was though.  
  
Amelia: Yeah but still.  
  
Gourry: So I guess that sign wasn't helpful?  
  
Lina: NO YOU BAKA!!!!!!  
  
Gourry: Oh yeah. ::Blinks and spots another sign:: Look another sign.  
  
Xelloss: Now that's something you don't see everyday in the forest. Two signs. ^_^  
  
Lina: You better have not written that sign too Xel!  
  
Xelloss: I assure you I didn't. ^_^  
  
Lina: Yeah right! ::Spots Gourry by the sign:: Hey Gourry what's that sign say?  
  
Gourry: ::Looks at the sign and tries to decipher the characters but has a horrible time because he didn't know how to read:: Ummm I can't read it.  
  
Lina: ::Walks over to the sign and starts reading it:: BAKA!!!!! ::Whacks Gourry over the head:: The sign says "Lina-san head west to find me! PS: Xelloss is a Namagomi!!!!" Uhhh, I wonder who could have written that?  
  
Amelia: Gee I don't know.  
  
Gourry: What's a Namagomi?  
  
Xelloss: It means 'raw cabbage' Gourry. ^_^ I wonder who in the world could have written such a horrible thing about me. ^_^  
  
Lina: Oh it isn't that tough Xelloss!  
  
Xelloss: Whatever do you mean Lina? ^_^  
  
Lina: Exactly what it sounds like!  
  
Zelgadis: I don't know who wrote the sign but don't you think we should go that way? ::Points to the west::  
  
Amelia: Mr. Zelgadis is absolutely right! We have to get to the bottom of this!  
  
*********  
  
And so Lina and company started heading west, hopefully finding the mysterious person who wrote the sign.  
  
Filia: Why doesn't anyone know it's me?  
  
Xelloss: Sore wa himitsu desu!  
  
Filia: ::Hits Xelloss over the head with mace:: NAMAGOMI!!!!  
  
**********  
  
Lina: ::Looking around in the new spot of the forest which has many signs in it:: Ok this isn't funny anymore Xelloss!  
  
Xelloss: It wasn't me. ^_^  
  
Amelia: We already used up that joke.  
  
Zelgadis: And it's still stupid and pointless.  
  
Xelloss: ::Teleports up onto a tree branch and looks around:: Hey look at that! ::Points to a flashing sign that reads "This way to the Really Secret Garden" on it that only he can see:: ^_^  
  
Gourry: Huh what?  
  
Lina: That is your famous catch phrase isn't it?  
  
Gourry: ::Nods:: It sure is!  
  
Zelgadis: What do you see up there fruitcake?  
  
Xelloss: Sore wa himitsu desu! ^_^  
  
Lina: STOP SAYING THAT! DIGU BOLT! ::Fires at Xelloss::  
  
Xelloss: ::Who is now electrified and covered in black ash:: The violence, it must stop! ^_^  
  
Amelia: Uhhh Miss Lina I'm going to have to agree with Xelloss about that.  
  
Lina: ::Glares at Amelia:: OH?  
  
Amelia: Or not!  
  
Zelgadis: ..... ::Flies up to where Xelloss is and looks in the direction he pointed in:: You guys aren't going to believe this but he actually saw something.  
  
Xelloss: Told ya. ^_^  
  
Lina: Well what is it Zel?  
  
Zelgadis: A big flashing sign.  
  
Amelia: Well let's go that way then! ::Everyone flies off and Lina grabs Gourry::  
  
********  
  
And so Lina and company started flying towards the big flashing sign that advertised the really secret garden. They landed right under the sign.  
  
Zelgadis: Not a really good secret is it?  
  
Fibrizo: ::Who came from who knows where:: Nope!  
  
Xelloss: There is the appearance of Fibrizo in this fic boys and girls! ^_^  
  
Everyone: Yay!  
  
********  
  
Lina: ::Whispering to Zelgadis:: So where do you think Fibrizo came from?  
  
Zelgadis: ::Whispering to Lina:: I have no clue.  
  
Amelia: Uhhh guys the fanfic started again!  
  
Lina: Oh yeah! ::Looks around and doesn't see anything except for the big sign:: WHO THE HELL WOULD MAKE A BIG SIGN WITH NOTHING HERE!?!?!?!!?!  
  
Xelloss: The author. ^_^  
  
Lina: Besides him!   
  
Zelgadis: Who knows?  
  
::Some really strange voices start coming from nowhere::  
  
Voice 1: ::Who sounds like a valley girl:: Hiya! Like welcome to the totally awesome Gnome's Spot!!!!  
  
Voice 2: ::Who sounds like an old guy who is hard to understand:: Aye welcome ta the Gnome's Spot aye. State yer business aye.  
  
Zelgadis: This has to be a sick joke.  
  
Amelia: A joke that isn't that funny.  
  
Lina: STUPID AUTHOR AND HIS STUPID JOKES!  
  
Xelloss: We're trying to find a place called the Really Secret Garden. ^_^  
  
Voice 2: Aye why would ja want ta go to that place aye?  
  
Amelia: It's the plot of this fanfic!  
  
Voice 1: ::Giggles annoyingly for no apparent reason:: Like wow! You came to the totally awesome Gnome's Spot for that? That's totally awesome!  
  
Lina: ::A large sweatdrop forms behind her head:: Just tell us how to get to the garden.  
  
::The source of voices 1 and 2 reveal themselves as a valley girl gnome and an old gnome::  
  
Old Gnome: Aye the garden is in the direction the sign points aye.  
  
Valley Girl Gnome: He's like totally telling the truth!!!!! ::Bounces her head around for no reason::  
  
Gourry: But it doesn't point anywhere!  
  
Xelloss: He's right. ^_^ Why did you make a sign that doesn't point anywhere? ^_^  
  
Old Gnome: Aye! Because it would take too long aye!  
  
Valley Girl Gnome: Like duh! ::Sticks tongue out at Xelloss::  
  
Xelloss: Yeah. ^_^ ::A bunch of thorns appear out of no where and impale the two gnomes:: Oh my where did those come from? ^_^  
  
Lina: We all know you did that Xelloss!   
  
Xelloss: Did what? ^_^  
  
Lina: Never mind, let's just get to bottom of this garden business!  
  
Amelia: ::Looks around:: But that sign is completely useless if it doesn't tell us where it is. The fiends who made that sign were unjust!  
  
Gourry: ::Spots an arrow drawn in the soft dirt:: Why don't we just follow that arrow?  
  
Zelgadis: Why am I doing this? ::Looks at the arrow Gourry mentioned:: Not a bad idea.  
  
*******  
  
So Lina and company followed the arrow that was drawn in the dirt. They followed the direction of the arrow until they stumbled upon a village with many straw huts around.  
  
Zelgadis: Will this fic ever end?  
  
MV: ::Who appears out of nowhere:: My, my, Zel-san, aren't we impatient?  
  
Zelgadis: You said this fic had no self-insertion!  
  
MV: I lied!   
  
Zelgadis: Go figure  
  
*******  
  
Lina: ::Whispering to Amelia:: Can you believe that guy? He's such a liar!  
  
Amelia: ::Whispering to Lina:: No! He's so unjust!  
  
Xelloss: The fanfic started again. ^_^ And that joke is a bit old. ^_^  
  
::Three strangely dressed little kids with green skin walked up to Lina and friends::  
  
Lina: Oh look it's a bunch of cannibals.  
  
Kid 1: Me no cannibal!  
  
Kid 2: Who you people?  
  
Zelgadis: I'm Zelgadis, and this is Lina, Gourry, Xelloss and Amelia.  
  
Lina: Hey Gourry you fit right in here!  
  
Gourry: Thanks!  
  
Kid 3: MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!  
  
Kid 1: What you doing?  
  
Kid 3: Me make way to destroy world!!!!  
  
Amelia: That's unjust!!! ::Jumps to the closest high place:: I won't let you get away with destroying the world!!! (Insert a Sailor Moon type speech here)  
  
Lina: Yeah, yeah, yeah, destroy the world ok. Do you know the way to the Really Secret Garden?  
  
Kid 2: Really secret garden? Yeah! That is over there! ::Points to the north and another sign that reads "Really Secret Garden! Getting Closer!"::  
  
Lina: For crying out loud!  
  
Kid 1: Me no want to cry!  
  
Kid 3: SHUT UP ME FIND WAY TO DESTROY WORLD!  
  
Kid 1: What is it?  
  
Kid 3: First you have to... ::Getting cut off by a fireball that kills the three kids instantly::  
  
Zelgadis: Well at least this time we found out the way to this garden. Good job Lina.  
  
Lina: I didn't fireball them though.  
  
Zelgadis: You didn't? Then who?  
  
Amelia: I was me! ::Flies down from the really high place:: I wasn't going to let them get away with destroying the world!  
  
Xelloss: Yes you said that in your long speech Amelia. ^_^ Multiple times! ^_^  
  
Lina: Anyway, let's follow this lead! ::Lina and company walk in the direction of big flashing sign number two::  
  
*******  
  
And so Lina and company walked toward big flashing sign number two.  
  
Lina: STOP WITH THESE STUPID NARRATION PARTS! DILL BRAND!  
  
And so the guy who writes these stupid narration parts died. ::Dies::  
  
*******  
  
Lina: ::Looks around the sign and isn't surprised by the fact there isn't anything there:: This is getting tedious.  
  
Zelgadis: I told you that from the beginning.  
  
::Out of nowhere a group of bandits appears::  
  
Bandit 1: HAHAHA!  
  
Bandit 2: HEHEHE!  
  
Bandit 3: HOHOHO!  
  
Bandit 1: We're the merry bandit trio!  
  
Bandit 2: The merry bandit trio are we!  
  
Bandit 3: So stop and pout and have a bout and give us all your money!  
  
Bandits in Unison: HAHA, we're the merry bandit trio, HEHE, we'll take all of your money, HOHO and have a nice day!  
  
Xelloss: Wasn't this joke used in that One Day fanfic as well? ^_^  
  
Zelgadis: Yes it was, only now it's slightly different and stupider.  
  
Lina: GO AWAY YOU STUPID BANDITS! DRAGU SLAVE!!! ::The bandits disappear into nothingness::  
  
Gourry: Ok so this isn't the garden either?  
  
Everyone but Gourry: NO!!!!!  
  
::They all follow the direction big flashing sign two pointed in, this time Lina and company arrive in a garden and a little wooden shack nearby::  
  
Xelloss: Look it's a garden. ^_^  
  
Lina: Thank you Xelloss.  
  
::A person with all pink on comes out of the shake and bows to the new arrivals::   
  
Person: Ahhh yes? Do you want something from the Not So Secret Garden?  
  
Amelia: Yeah! Where in the world is the Really Secret Garden?!?!?!?!  
  
Person: Ahhhh yes it's only a few yards from this one. You can't miss it!  
  
Zelgadis: Thanks.  
  
Person: Ahhh yes don't mention it Mr. Zelgadis.  
  
Zelgadis: How did you know my name?  
  
::The person gets an evil grin on his face and takes off the pink clothing, it turns out to be Kopii Rezo::  
  
Xelloss: Oh look Zel's long lost dead grandfather was resurrected just for this fic. ^_^  
  
Kopii Rezo: Xelloss is correct! Now you all will die!  
  
Lina: DRAGU SLAVE! ::Kopii Rezo is destroyed::  
  
Zelgadis: I wanted to do it this time.  
  
Lina: Too bad Zel!  
  
Amelia: Let's get going guys!  
  
::Lina and friends follow the directions Kopii Rezo given them and they find themselves in a garden with all cabbage in it. A small white sign in the center of the garden reads, "You have found Filia's Really Secret Garden!" Filia is nearby planting some cabbage::  
  
Lina: What's up with this garden?  
  
Zelgadis: Who's the girl?  
  
Xelloss: Most importantly, why is this garden so secret? ^_^  
  
Everyone but Xelloss: Sore wa himitsu desu!  
  
Xelloss: I see. ^_^  
  
Filia: ::Hears all the various noises and looks up:: Oh hi guys! ::Runs over to Lina and company:: Why are you here?  
  
Amelia: ::Whispers to Lina:: Do you know her?   
  
Lina: ::Shakes her head:: Do you?  
  
Amelia: Nope!  
  
Zelgadis: Who are you?  
  
Filia: It's me Filia!   
  
Xelloss: Sure it is. ^_^  
  
Filia: NAMAGOMI!!!! ::Gets her mace out from under her skirt and pounds Xelloss on the head with it several times::   
  
Gourry: That must be Filia all right!  
  
::Everyone thinks a little bit and then suddenly remembers who Filia is and laughs at the situation::  
  
Lina: So you're actually growing cabbage Filia?  
  
Filia: Yes I am Miss Lina. Sorry about the whole secret thing.  
  
Lina: No problem.  
  
Xelloss: And that's the end. ^_^  
  
Zelgadis: Stupid ending.  
  
::Filia's secret garden disappears and everything goes back to normal::  
  
Zelgadis: Better ending.  
  
Xelloss: That's all folks! ^_^  
  
******  
  
That's it everyone! Hope you liked reading my fic! Give me some feedback please!  
  
Zelgadis: I'll give you some feedback.  
MV: Yeeeeeeees?  
Zelgadis: This was your most stupid and pointless fanfic ever.  
MV: Awww Zel you're so nice!  
Zelgadis: And you're crazy.  
MV: Thanks! Anymore feedback?  
Fibrizo: Yeah! Write more fanfics with me in them!  
MV: Ok any other feedback?  
Valgaav: YOU SUCK!  
MV: Hmmm note to self, write more fics with Val in them.  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
